She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
