i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize