I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
