What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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