ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
