I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
