So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
In America we eat man semen.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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