well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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