I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
