You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
