Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
