Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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