I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
