he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
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That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
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Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
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