I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
