Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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