ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Randomize
