so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
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