Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
