Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
We had sex on a dog bed..
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
