i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
