Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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