that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Blood and glitter go together right?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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