To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
