he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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