If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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