this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
