Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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