kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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