At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
