Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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