thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
What a dumb baby whore.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
