I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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