When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Randomize
