Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
