he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
