just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
