I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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