anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize