i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize