My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I could have mohawked her pubes.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
