Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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