Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
