In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
