Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
