oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
that's an acceptable place to lick
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
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