Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
