im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
ok first of all what the fuck
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