I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.