But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
