We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
