is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
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Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
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I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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