he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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