Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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