Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
