Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
