I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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