You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
