Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
