spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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