I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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