just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
