Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize