I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
