So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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