So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
