so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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