I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
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