Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
